Dialysis is hard.
Not only is the procedure uncomfortable, but the lifestyle is rough. Switching gears from my transplant where I had to drink at least 2L of water a day to where I must try to drink only 1-1.5 L of fluid, total, a day, is so hard. Fluid is everything - coffee, water, milk, juice, soda, etc. You find that it adds up quick - and one of my favorite things in the world was drinking a very large glass of water with an absolute ton of ice... and avoiding foods high in potassium and phosphorus. It's just difficult to switch the gears.
The process is disruptive as well - I go into dialysis at 6:30 AM... so I get up every Monday, Wednesday and Friday, get the kids lunches and backpacks ready before I head in. Then the process is four hours long - plus the time it takes to put you on the machine and off. It's a grind. And afterwords, as of late, I am absolutely wiped. I'm not as young as I used to be, and its harder now than when I was 24. But I'm doing it. I feel a little more like myself, but I still feel like the shadow of the person I used to be, It's just been difficult - I feel more alone than ever. But I'm trying hard, because my kids are just so cool. They're looking forward to Halloween... and then Christmas after. I hope Christmas is good and fun this year. I just wanna be their loving and fun Dad. That's the best gig I ever had.
