I first did dialysis in Jan of 2003. Over 17 years ago. How I am as old as I am now, I haven't a clue - it's been a ride. Years of dialysis. Two kidney transplants. Countless other medical problems as a result of my ESRD. I've seen so many doctors, it's unthinkable. Yet, I remain.
I started this journey as a 24 year old kid. A scared kid who soldiered on nonetheless. Now I'm a 42 year old man, father to two children, husband and still that scared kid soldiering on. It's been hard. In October, I'll have been back on dialysis two years. And for two years before that, I had to watch my kidney slowly degenerate and there was nothing we could do about it.
And now... Covid-19. Everytime there's a news report and they say "The most affected are these people..." and I realize that I am in that illustrious catagory. It's scary as hell. I worry about getting it. I worry that if I get it, will I be strong enough to beat it? I've read reports of people seemingly young and healthy contracting it and dying. And I am scared. I try not to be. I soldier on - in these days of isolation and flattening the curve, every other day I go to my dialysis center. I wear a mask, do my treatment and go home. Try to be strong for my kids - sweet, innocent little ones. They're too young to really know what's going on. They do know Daddy goes to dialysis. And their Mother... she works at a hospital. And it's only getting worse. We're not even into the peak of this thing...
I don't know who reads this anymore. Or if anyone does. But I hope we all make it through. And if I don't.... I hope my life was meaningful enough. I don't feel like I've left my full mark and done everything I want to do. But we don't often get to pick that. We just have to do what we can with the time we are given. Stay safe, and be kind to one another. We're all we've got.
I started this journey as a 24 year old kid. A scared kid who soldiered on nonetheless. Now I'm a 42 year old man, father to two children, husband and still that scared kid soldiering on. It's been hard. In October, I'll have been back on dialysis two years. And for two years before that, I had to watch my kidney slowly degenerate and there was nothing we could do about it.
And now... Covid-19. Everytime there's a news report and they say "The most affected are these people..." and I realize that I am in that illustrious catagory. It's scary as hell. I worry about getting it. I worry that if I get it, will I be strong enough to beat it? I've read reports of people seemingly young and healthy contracting it and dying. And I am scared. I try not to be. I soldier on - in these days of isolation and flattening the curve, every other day I go to my dialysis center. I wear a mask, do my treatment and go home. Try to be strong for my kids - sweet, innocent little ones. They're too young to really know what's going on. They do know Daddy goes to dialysis. And their Mother... she works at a hospital. And it's only getting worse. We're not even into the peak of this thing...
I don't know who reads this anymore. Or if anyone does. But I hope we all make it through. And if I don't.... I hope my life was meaningful enough. I don't feel like I've left my full mark and done everything I want to do. But we don't often get to pick that. We just have to do what we can with the time we are given. Stay safe, and be kind to one another. We're all we've got.
