The Kidney Boy

 I'm still processing the fact that I've had a THIRD kidney transplant in my lifetime.  I was 25 when I had my first, 33 when I had my second, and 42 when I had my third. Where has the time gone in my life?  

For a few years there, I thought I had it all.  2020 changed everything.  I lost everything that was important to me, and yet here I've gained my life and my freedom back.  Now to rebuild.  But, I honestly don't know what I want in life for myself any more.  Outside of being the best Dad to my kids, I don't want anything else any more. I just don't.  All the things I chased when I was younger, success, money, acclaim... love. I don't want 'em.  I've been there, and lost that.  Don't have a desire to do that again.  I just want to live well, take care of myself and my kids, and try to enjoy what time I have left here on Earth.  

My body is healing, and the kidney is working.  It's going to take my soul longer to heal, I think.  I'm getting okay with that.  But from time to time, the pain aches in my heart and I have to find new ways to deal with it.  More positive ways.  Now, I'm going to try to be more active. Play more music. Go on more walks when I can. Play with my kids. And learn how to laugh on my own again.