The Lamp

 I used to have a lamp in my family room.  I still have one now, of course, but it's a different one.  I had this other lamp for years - it was a really nice looking one.  But the way it was placed and the way the light switch was placed on it made it awkward for me to turn on and off, especially while standing.  Every time I used it, I muttered "Fucking lamp..." like a grumpy old curmudgeon. I wasn't really annoyed; most of the time, I like to put on the air of a grumpy curmudgeon for humorous effect; I'm really not that grumpy or bothered, but it used to seem like it made people laugh.  Just a quirk of my personality - and, I am nothing if not a performer who loves to entertain people. But in reality, I loved that lamp.  I loved it a lot - the fact that it was difficult to turn on and off endeared it to me.  It was another small piece of my life - a part of the puzzle.  But every time, I muttered "Fucking lamp...." that was my stupid way of saying how much I liked it.  I know, it's just a lamp.  It's silly.  But one day, it broke - and now it's gone.  And I don't walk across the room at night to turn it off before I go to bed and mutter "Fucking lamp..." and I really, really miss that.  Sometimes those stupid little things that seem to annoy you are the little things that make your life worth living, and you don't miss them til they are gone.