I have no mouth and I must scream

So.... I had a meeting with the colo-rectal surgeon today.

They can't do anything for me.  Surgery on what is ailing me is ineffective.... basically, I have to live with this until it heals itself or it devolves into a full on rectal prolapse.  The way they normally treat this?  Have you drink lots of fluid and increase fiber.  I'm on a fluid restriction because of my kidney disease.

So basically, the only way to treat this is to get me a kidney transplant.

It's all so frustating.

I'm resigned to the fact that I have to live being sick and usless more of the time - but it still sucks, because I have so much ambition in my heart.  The mind yearns but the flesh is weak.... sigh.  Just another hump for us to get over.

I try and count my blessings, and I have so many - but sometimes, it's hard.  And sometimes, like now, I just want to scream.   But after the scream, what do I do then?  What I always do.  Keep moving on.

But for now, I think some light screaming is in order.

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


~Steve