Tom Petty said it, "The Waiting is the hardest part...". Of course, he was talking about waiting to "get some", but the point remains.... I spend a lot of time "waiting". I think that's one of the most maddening things about all of this. I'm just waiting.... waiting to get a new kidney, waiting to see my GI doctor to get my bowel problem resolved... it makes you feel kind of useless.
I try to fill up my time, though. Working is hard - I know some people still work while on dialysis and others don't. I feel so different day to day, it's hard to stay consistent enough to work a job efficiently. Most of the work I do is part-time, and on an "as needed" basis for people. I like it when I can get those jobs - mostly I work on them from home, but it makes me feel productive when I can help out. When I'm not doing work for other people, I manage a retro-gaming "company" called Infamous Adventures. We're working on several video games right now - old school "adventure" games, with a decidedly early 90's flavor. It's a lot of fun - I work with people from all over the world and all walks of life.
So, yeah, keeping busy and feeling productive and useful is something that weights on my mind a lot. Just one of those things, I imagine, that anyone who is chronically sick can identify with.