The Adventures of Kidney Boy

A Journal About Living With End Stage Renal Disease. Dialysis. Transplants. Love. Family. Friends. The Unsung Donor. This is my life, from the end of a needle to the bottom of a pill bottle.

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Recovery and The Big Move

My Wife and I moved into a new place last weekend.  It's larger than our last place, but most of all - it's a home away from where I did dialysis for four years.  I don't know - I had a lot of emotions during the move. 

I spent many a day lying in my bed, feeling like crap, yearning to be free of dialysis - and when things got their bleakest, I seriously thought that I was going to die in that house.  I thought that it would be my last place of residence. 

And with the move, suddenly, the world changed again.  I could move - I could pick up the pieces of my life (and all the furniture and nick-knacks!) and start again.  To be able to do that.... well, it was overwhelming.  You resign yourself to a certain kind of life when you're chronically ill, and to have all that change in a matter of months.... well, life throws you curve balls all the time.  I guess, for me, I'm still amazed when I keep swinging.  Especially because I tend to be hit by pitches all the time!

The move was nerve wracking for me - especially since I couldn't really carry anything heavy, or really do much.  I'd get tired and winded pretty easy.  I'm woefully out of shape - spending four years in a dialysis chair can bring you down.  And let's be honest, I've never been the peak specimen of physical fitness.  But I'm looking forward to slowly rocking me into that position.  I hope to be better physically fit in a years time.  Not too lofty a goal. 

But my new place is becoming a home; Jordan's so good at making our house a home.  She did it for us at our last home.  She made it cozy, warm, safe and inviting.  She's doing it all over again here, and with such gusto! 

Our new start, and my recovery continues.  Having a transplant is a miracle.  I feel so different.... can't wait to see how the next few months pans out for me.  Baby steps - I wanna go conquering the world, and lifting logs over my head, but I'm still a bit banged up.... heh.  Someday, though.  Someday.

To all my friends still on dialysis - hold on.  I know how hard it is.  I just want to be able to reach out, and heal you.... or give you some of the relief I have now.  I hope it comes for you.  I know you're often maligned and misunderstood by friends and family - even doctors and health care staff overlook ESRD patients from time to time.  Time will come when more people understand our disease, and the dire straits it puts people into.  I know it's hard.   But I wish you the best that I can.  Hopefully, in the future, I can do something to help all of us in our struggle.  I feel it's my duty.

So, here's to new starts, hope, and perseverance.  Sometimes, it's all we have.

`
~Steve

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