Every morning for the past month, I pass a hospital on the way - and every day, parked outside of it along a corridor where many visitors park, I've seen an SUV with writing in the back of it's window. It proclaims a mother's love for her son's High School Football team. And every morning, I see it - sometimes on one side of the road, other days it's moved to the other. But it's been there every day I go by. And I wonder who she's in there to see, everyday. I wonder what kind of tragedy has befallen someone she loves, and I think of her travelling to the hospital everyday to see them, early in the morning. (The team referenced on her car is from quite a ways from Syracuse.) I think about what she's going through - and I think of the lengths we can go for the ones we love. How your own well being can be set aside, to be there - to provide support, comfort.... anything. I don't really know why she's there, but if it's for someone who is badly hurt (as I think it is in my own little head), and my heart bleeds for her. I wish there was more I could do.
I stopped at the grocery store after dropping my wife off; I was picking up a few things when nature called, so I excused myself to the bathroom. When I went in, I saw that there was a homeless man in the stall, washing himself up - bags and bags of "stuff" that he was carrying around just laying around. He looked rough; it was a cold, cold night in Syracuse last night, and I think he was cleaning up and getting warm. I wished right then I was wealthy enough just to hand him a bunch of bills and simply say "Stay Warm." I wouldn't care what he did with the money. There's some out there who'd use it for some not so savory things, but I don't even care. Whatever misfortune befell this man.... he was out there, living a rougher life than I. I remembered to be thankful for my warm home, my loving family, my amazing friends, and my incredible wife.
I'd be a bad Billionaire, because I do have a bleeding heart, and I'd be throwing out my money to strangers like it was my job. I know that's not the right thing to do, but I'd probably end up doing it anyway. I don't know how some people can be so selfish - I'm not saying give money to bums, but I know people who are selfish towards their friends and family!
I guess almost dying this year, and getting my miracle gift really made me think about all the things I love about life - the things I'd miss if I were dead. I don't think dying with a bunch of cash to my name, and a long list of people who hated me would be the way to go. I'm not monetarily wealthy, but what I do have.... I'm lucky for it. I can't fault people for their greed, but I do feel sorry for them. I just wonder if it will be worth it to them when it all ends - and it will all end for all of us someday. Can you clutch your bank statement when you die, or can you hold the hands of the ones you love?