Winding down, falling apart

 I was playing guitar this afternoon. I have noticed significant impairment in my fingers over the last few years as neuropathy has taken its toll on my body.  I have a much harder time feeling my fingers, and they do not move as quickly and responsively as my brain would like them too.  It's a minute difference to most, but as a guitarist - I notice it a lot. I feel clumsy on the fretboard, I cannot play as fast as I once did and I am more unsure of what I play than I was in my youth.  I'm trying not to let it get me down - I'm no longer any kind of music or performing professional, so the defeat is really just a personal one here. But it's a small reminder of how my body is breaking down slowly, and how someday I just will not have control of my facilities any more.  For someone who technically was not supposed to live this long, I sure have lasted a lot more years than I thought, but there's a little bit more wear and tear on me than other 43 year old folks. So I take my blessings where they come, and remember that my impaired ability to play the guitar is better than some people will ever play in their life, and I should be grateful I even got to do it at all in the first place. Music has always been its own reward.